“Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Do you ever feel like nothing you do is good enough?

You put time and energy into a project or relationship and all you get is either no response or a response you could live without.

This can be especially challenging for people that need positive affirmations to feel good about themselves. Can you relate? Yes!

I know I am not alone because I have clients that express the same frustrations.

I will tell you what I tell them – we can only control our reaction to what is offending us.

So how do we stop taking things so personally and rise above?

• Criticism comes from the critic’s perspective rather than an absolute truth about you. Other people’s comments are often colored by their own experiences and biases. When we understand the nature of the criticism we can separate our self-worth from the opinions of others.

• A brief pause before we react to the criticism can help us process and maybe avoid an emotional response, we might later regret. Take a few deep breaths and calm down the emotional part of your brain.

• Not all criticism is bad. There can be parts to it that could support our growth. We have to be willing to see the value in what is being said. Having a growth mindset will help you see the criticism as a stepping stone to something better.

• Sometimes you might need to ask for clarification. Especially if the critic isn’t really making sense. This isn’t helpful. Speak up for yourself and ask questions to help you understand the issue.

• When we tie our self-worth to our performance, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. Our self-worth is not defined by the opinions of others. We have inherent value and need to separate this from our actions or mistakes. When we make this mindset shift it can help us view criticism more objectively.

• Practicing self-compassion should be done with the same regularity as practicing self-care. Be kind to yourself, especially when faced with criticism. Everyone makes mistakes and faces criticism. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would show a friend. Give yourself the positive affirmations that you feel you are missing.

• We can’t control what others think or say about us. What we can control is our response to them. Pay attention to your own actions, attitudes, and behaviors. When you concentrate on what you can control, you empower yourself and reduce the impact of those external opinions.

• Building your emotional resilience by engaging in activities that promote well-being, like exercise, meditation, or journaling will help you handle criticism more effectively. Building emotional resilience will help you stay calm and composed when faced with criticism.

• When the criticism is too much, seek support from friends, family, a coach, or a mental health professional. Talking about our feelings can provide us with perspective and help us develop strategies for coping.

Handling criticism gracefully is a skill that can be developed with practice and patience. Embracing these strategies not only improves your emotional well-being but also enhances your personal and professional growth. Remember, criticism is just one perspective and doesn’t define your worth. Use it as a tool for growth and continue to move forward with confidence and resilience.