The inner critic isn’t all bad; its intentions are good, even if poorly executed. At its core, the inner critic’s primary job is to protect us from real and imagined dangers. Those threats might encroach from the outside (“If I don’t do more than everyone else, I could lose my job”) or from the inside (“Why are you taking a walk? That’s time you could use to be productive!”).
Caring about the quality of our work and seeking opportunities to be productive are valuable traits. The difficulty arises when we hand the reins over to an inner critic without boundaries. Left unchecked, its personality swells into the loudest voice in the room, an incessant director commenting on our every action, perception, inner conversation, and behavior.
Enough. Who is in charge here?
Boundaries aren’t just for our relationships with loved ones or colleagues; they exist internally, too. Imagine if the inner critic wasn’t the loudest voice. What if the guiding voice within was calm, gentle, and spoken without expecting blind obedience?
The first step is simple: Ask yourself what relationship you want to have with your inner critic and where you need to draw the line.
As you draw the line, how much space do you want to allow between you and your inner critic? What would it take to add some extra distance and maybe even bring the inner critic down a few sizes, say from a big bear to a little bear?
Metaphorically, you are sliding back into the driver’s seat and deciding where the inner critic gets to sit (Passenger seat? Back seat? Roof?). You get to decide when it speaks, and for how long, and when it’s time to be quiet. You also get to announce a change of plans: From now on, appreciation for quality, not fear, is the guiding force at work; taking a walk is productive. No guilt.
As you reimagine your relationship with the inner critic, here is a final question:
